Posion Apple

I think that many accross America were shocked to find out that their Microsoft Zune media players were experienceing Y2K-like problems on January 1, 2009. However, it was even more of a shocker to find out that this mysteriousn "bug" was caused by "The Man" AKA Aaple.

Confronted by a variety of Internet sources, Apple Inc. executives are admitting that the bug which crashed Microsoft Zune music players on New Year's Eve was the work of pranksters within their organization -- and say more tricks may be coming.

"Microsoft really needs to get a sense of humor," said an Apple executive, who spoke to CAP News by phone yesterday under condition of anonymity. He declined to say exactly how they executed the Zune crash, other than to say it involved a massive circuit board, some very skilled hackers and "lots of fuzzy navel Jell-O shots."

He did say that Apple did not have anyone "on the inside" at Microsoft to help them execute the prank. "We can't stand dealing with anybody over there," he said. "You know the PC in our Mac and PC commercials? They're all just like that."

Zune owners are crying foul over the crash, particularly given that it kept them from using their Zunes on New Year's Eve. "Yes, we're sure all the Zune owners were crushed at not being able to hear their ABBA and Carpenters songs when the clock struck 12," said the Apple exec. "I'm rolling my eyes now."

There were reports of complaints, however, including several New Year's Eve gatherings of Zune-owning accountants, engineers, IT technicians and others that had to go without music.

"We wound up just breaking the party up around 10 p.m.," said Neal Smerlitz, who plans the annual New Year's Eve gala for the Chess Lovers of San Bernadino, a California hobbyist group, all of whose members are Zune owners. "Although come to think of it, that's when it ended last year too."

The Apple executive also admitted that other pranks may be in the works. These include a plan to make Microsoft Word programs around the world type "Macs rule, PCs drool" no matter what letters are keyed in. Also, an Internet Explorer bug will make every Web page point to a video of Rick Astley singing "Never Gonna Give You Up."

"Let's face it, that never gets old," chuckled the exec.

He said they also considered a bug that would make the Vista operating system slow, clunky and incompatible with a score of programs, "but Microsoft did that themselves already!" The executive could then be heard cracking up and high-fiving his friends in the room.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs declined to comment on the Zune crash specifically, but did admit that Microsoft is notorious for its lack of humor. "Did you see those commercials with Jerry Seinfeld?" he asked. "They were about as funny as whatever disease it is that I have."

Next time Apple employees use company resources to take down their reval, let's hope the rest of Silicon Valley doesn't find out.